What is Violence Against Women
It’s high time we women have been abused and used or should I say, Misused by this so called Man made world. The time when a girl is born to the time a girl’s grave is decorated she is used, misused, she is abused and Yes! SHE IS….
Misuse and Abuse
Misuse and Abuse are big words to be used, but isn’t this the fact, when on the same mistake a boy is let go, the girl is ill treated?? They say, She has to go to another house and we are just trying to teach her good manners. Doesn’t a boy need good manners? A girl is forced to wear what her parents think is right, she is forced to study what her parents think is right for her. A girl and her wishes are no where. Is that right? InfactIn fact, in India, the arrange marriage system and child marriage traditions are still there and most of the times girls are dragged and forced into marriages either emotionally pushing her or by authority.
It’s the story of every second home in India, Girls are taught that the boys are superior, Head of the family and girls are the one who supports the head of the family to run the family smoothly. The man earns, and the woman has to run the house with whatever he earns, she is the one responsible of the household chores, parents, kids and their education and quite a few more things. But she is always the one who listens, What do you do? You stay at home and I need to go out to EARN. The house runs, because I earn. When a girl tries to break this rule and help her husband in earning, she is The Girl who is trying to be the head of the family, and thus not a good girl or woman.
I might be looking like some stereotype girl writing all this, and you must be wondering, what am I talking because nothing like this happens anymore. Right? That doesn’t happen is metro cities, But it does happen in most of the houses of not so metro cities, villages and towns.
Isn’t Violence Against Women also Domestic Violence?
Mrs. Kalpana of Haridwar, “My husband divorced me because, I wanted to pursue my career just because he wasn’t earning enough and I had no choice but to work.” I asked her, But Kalpana Ji, He should have been happy that you are helping him financially? I was amazed and shocked by Kalpana’s reply. She said, “I also thought the same, but he said I must run the house with whatever he is earning. And If I went out of the house to earn, people will laugh at him and his manhood. I fought with him and went on to work at a nearby institute for the job of a counselor. But my husband blamed me of having an illicit affair with men and threw me out of the house. Now I stay with my parents. My life is ruined now”.
Is that the reality check? Isn’t this abusing? Just because Kalpana’s husband didn’t hit her, he just threw her out blaming her. Strange very strange.
Marriage is between two people, two families. It is not just the girl who has to sacrifice, adjust and bow down. Yes, to have a healthy marriage, it is a must to adjust, sacrifice and smile, but that should happen from both sides and not just one. I remember, in an interview an elderly couple were asked a question, What’s the secret of a happy married life? The elderly couple smiled and they replied, when both want to be in the relationship, they will do whatever it takes. When one of them leaves everything on the other, the marriage starts dying.
But how does one know the limit of abuse she can handle? When a girl, female or a woman is abused, she must raise her voice there and then. If it continues, continue raising your voice. If it still goes on and makes your life more complicated, do not wait to move out of it, Don’t be afraid, Take the step right now.
Our Country Needs A Change!!
A girl cannot wear what she wants to, cannot travel alone, cannot travel at night, the boys find ways to touch her, grope her in Crowdy places. Even a rape victim is ill treated and blamed by neighbors and society. This is an issue we need to raise our voices on, Even if it has not happened with us, someone is there who needs our help.
P.S – Do not take it personally, This post is in general, it doesn’t mean You too are mean to girls, but there are many families who are. Dowry, Rapes, Child abuse, Domestic Violence, Sexual Harassments is not stopping. I just want the educated people to look into their societies and find these culprits and raise voice against them.