How does fighting of parents impact the growth of kids?
It is a known fact that fighting of parents impact the growth of kids in a very negative manner. It is said that kids are like clay, you can turn them in any shape you want. A kid spends most of his time with his parents and learns everything from them. Parenting is a real tough job where care needs to be taken at each and every step. A single wrong step can affect the growth of kids in a very bad way. The worst case fights between parents. In this post, we will discuss about how does fighting of parents impact the growth of kids and how it can be prevented?
Why do parents fight?
The very first thing we need to know is why do parents fight? They loved each other, they made few vows and promise to keep each other happy and safe, but then what happens that the same two person’s starts fighting? The reason is things changes after marriage and after having a kid. Responsibilities increases and with that increases the inner tension of the mind. It is quite natural and normal for two people to have different opinions and ideas. This can be worked out by talking with each other and spending quality time. However, in this fast moving world, the problem arises when there comes a communication gap and too many little things pile up to convert into a big mess. The result is yelling, mocking and blaming. They start intimidating each other, throwing things at each other and worse, physical attack. In between all this they forget that the fighting of parents impact the growth of kids and it will affect kids future too. The worse happens when parents decide to get divorced without things for kids.
How does fighting of parents impact the growth of kids?
Mental Destruction: Kids are very innocent and they do not know what is good or what is bad. They just want themselves and their parents to remain happy. But, when things go wrong between parents, it actually affects them mentally. It is a scientific fact that children are emotionally damaged when they see their parents fighting and arguing. Fighting of parents leaves a long lasting impact on kids mind and they suffer from mental problems like anxiety, sleep problems, depression, school problems, low self-esteem, feeling of guilt and in the worst case, a feeling to commit suicide. It is found in a study that kids who saw their parents fighting for a long time either turns out to be much too shy or too much violent.
They feel unsafe and remains scared: A kids needs a happy smiling environment to grow where he doesn’t feel unsafe or scare to come in front of his parents. Kids feel anxious, unsafe and helpless, when parents start fighting. They worry about their own safety and remains scared as a thought that his parents can hurt him too, always remains in his mind. A child imagines a lot and his imagination takes a dirty road when he starts imagining bad things which can happen to him. Even a small shout can scare the hell out of him.
They feel guilty and remains confused on which side to take: If you are wondering that how can fighting of parents impact the growth of kids, you must understand this point. Whenever, parents fight and involves kids in the fight, it become difficult for a kid to take sides. He is just a kid and he wants to impress both of them. A simple question like, do you think your mom/dad is wrong, can put him in a very big confusion. Even we as an adults are still not able to justify the difference between right and wrong, how can a kid justifies them. Another problem is guilt. This happens when fights start with the topics like school fees, who should drop kid to school, etc. In these kind of fights, kids starts imagining that it all has started because of him and an inner guilt starts eating him up from inside.
Isolation: In many situations, kids isolate themselves from the family and remains in his room all day long. He stops playing and watching T.V. Skipping of food, remaining silent, not catching up with friends are just examples of this isolation. He prays that either one of the parents doesn’t come home or the fight doesn’t start again. He weeps alone in his room and the worst part is that he doesn’t have anyone to talk about it or he doesn’t want to talk about it. In many cases the kid starts getting bullied in school due to his shy and silent behavior.
A gap starts building up: Parents are considered as kids best friends. A kid is supposed to share all his happy and bad news with his parents and parents are supposed to help him out. The main problem starts when a kid starts keeping things to himself. He feels alone. He remains scared that if he shared anything with his parents, another fight will start. The situation takes an ugly route when a child starts getting comfortable with one of them and starts hating the other. In most of the cases, a kid gets attached to his mother and starts hating his father which could continue for years and years.
How to protect your child from this?
We hope that now you understand that how can fighting of parents impact the growth of kids and now you want to do something about it. Here are a few tips:
· Don’t ever fight or argue in front of the kids. Keep them away from it.
· Try to solve out the issue by talking rather than yelling at each other.
· Don’t let the kid take any sides. Talk to him and give him some information about the issue.
· Don’t leave the kid alone after a fight. Spend time with him and make him understand that he is not the cause of it and everything will be all right soon.
· Spend time with the kid and take him for an outing at least once in a week.
So, now you know how does fighting of parents impact the growth of kids. Wish you happy parenting.